I have two true loves in my life: my husband (sappy, I know) and books. I’ve been in a rather serious relationship with reading for much longer than I’ve been married. I just love all the things that reading and books represent. I love the feel of a book in my hands. I love the smell of a used book store. I love the coziness of escaping into a good story. And oh my do I love prose. I am supremely jealous of all writers, both the good and the not so good. Why? Because they put words together in a coherent way and tell a story they made up in their own minds, then they had the guts enough to share it with the world. That’s just wholly remarkable to me. I love reading and experiencing an author’s hard work. So, if I love it so much, why don’t I try writing something, too? Well, the sad truth is, I’ve tried and I found that it’s god damned hard. It’s probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I know, lots of people write stories and get their works out there, but for me specifically, it’s nearly impossible. Well, why is that?

I’ll Tell You Why.

I’ve dreamed of being a writer all my life. I used to write short stories when I was a kid, although they were heavily influenced (and mostly retellings of) stories that touched me growing up. Seriously. Once, when I was 12, I rewrote Bridge to Terabithia thinking it was this amazing new story before I realized I’d basically just copied the whole book. Sigh. Since becoming an adult, I’ve written a whole 3 short stories (they were uniquely my own this time), only 1 of which I’ve shared with anyone. Yet, here I am still dreaming of becoming a writer. So, what prevents me from sitting down and typing up something neat and fun? Myself. There are many skills a writer must have to succeed, and I think I have most of them. I know words and can use them effectively, I excel at world building and story telling in D&D, I can create detailed descriptions for people, places, and things, and I love making up rich and interesting worlds with all the good and bad things that go with them. Unfortunately, what I lack are two important, necessary skills: the ability to remember details and map together bits and pieces in my mind, and the ability to maintain focus while I type without tunneling.

But Aren’t There Any Tips Or Tricks To Help You?

Unfortunately, I’ve tried a few and haven’t had any major success. The main reason being that these two skills I’m lacking seem to be directly related to my mental health stuff. I have a few diagnosis (which I’ll probably blog about more in the future) and to manage those, I take medications. Sadly, these medications make it a bit difficult to keep focus sometimes and give me a bit of a cloudy thinking process. However, since I started blogging, I’ve found that freeform writing is super easy and fun. I can sit down, type away without having to keep story details straight, and get stuff published in record time. No second guessing, no rereading 50 times, no missing details, and no keeping 5 notebooks of notes for a story 30 pages long. Does this mean that there could be a way to be a writer then? I sure as hell hope so! I want to fulfill that dream so badly. I’m hoping that with practice here telling non-fiction stories about my life, I’ll be able to start working on more fictional stories in the future. I think that things are going to start looking brighter and I’ll finally get something published. Then, I can fulfill my dream of sitting at a cozy lodge by a lake, coffee cup next to me, while I type away on my next big tale. Who knows? Maybe it’ll even be a novel.

How do you feel about writing? Have you had anything published? Please share a link to your work!

Interested in reading more of my ramblings?